Children's Camp. Educating without Punishing

When we, counselors of an English-speaking camp, plan a shift, we pay a lot of attention to the camp schedule. It's important for us to plan every hour of our participants' time, and we have several reasons for this. 

A carefully thought-out daily routine guarantees our participants interesting days filled with useful events, immersion in an English-speaking atmosphere, and for us, the organizers of developmental recreation, the safety of its participants. And sometimes, the evening time is the most difficult time to ensure adherence to the schedule. 

Here's a story as an example.

Late evening, lights out in the camp, I hear noise in a room, I knock on the door. Something is clearly happening in the room, some kind of drama – I wonder what? This is the room of girls from the senior group. Let's see...

— Oh, it's you, Nadia. And we're already sleeping, – Natasha, who opened the door, answers me with a theatrical yawn.

— It doesn't look like you're sleeping, I hear something completely different, – I look around the room in the darkness, I don't want to turn on the light yet – what if I was wrong?

— Yes, it's the neighbors making noise, there are some noisy kids there, – Sonya adds in an almost sleepy voice.

I don't have very good eyesight, and in the dark I see even worse, but I still noticed a strange lump near Natasha's bed. Even if it's a pile of clothes that hasn't been put away, I had a reason to turn on the light.

— Oh, why are you turning on the light? It's so bright... we're already sleeping... – Natasha tries to hide what can no longer be hidden.

— Denis, what are you doing here? – I approach Natasha's bed and lift the blanket that Denis covered himself with while sitting on the floor by the bed.

— Huh? What? – he pretends that he woke up in someone else's room by mistake. They're such actors!

— Denis, you're breaking the lights-out rules by being in someone else's room. Come on, let's talk, – I ask him to leave the room.

The girls are no longer sleepy, but they have nothing to justify themselves with. I wish them good night and go with Denis to the floor where his room is.

— So what if I was in another room?! We want to talk so much! – Denis starts the conversation.

— Since you broke the lights-out rules, the key to your room no longer belongs to you, it goes to the counselors. We can't trust you because you showed what you can do after lights out. In the evening I'll lock you in, and in the morning I'll unlock you. You need to sleep at night.

Denis is a proud guy, and he demonstrates indifference to my decision. He silently goes into the room, gives me the key and goes into the darkness of the room to go to bed.

I felt relieved because I suspected that he was a lover of nighttime adventures, but punishing him based on suspicions would have been wrong. It's good that he got caught and we easily resolved the situation.

In the morning, every time Denis saw me, he immediately softened: he lowered his eyes, his shoulders, stopped in anticipation of something unpleasant. His entire body language showed that he was expecting "conversations, accusations, lectures," although it seemed to me that we had already clarified everything yesterday evening.

Very often our children get used to hearing accusations and morals several times for one offense, and this became the norm for Denis. He thought I would reproach him again for bad behavior late in the evening. But I never reminded him of it, I only came in the evening to take the key, lock their door, and return it in the morning.

Only on the third day did he realize that the continuation of "education" wouldn't happen, and he stopped tensing up when he saw me.

— Why didn't you scold me for being with the girls?

— How would that have helped you and me?

— Well, that's what everyone always does... – Denis tried to explain his question.

— Were you punished?

— Yes, but easily... – he adds uncertainly.

— Denis, I didn't need to hurt you, I needed safety in the camp and for everyone, including you and Natasha with Sonya, to have time for healthy sleep. I was able to ensure both. What's the point of adding emotions? Especially negative ones?

Of course, our conversations with Denis were in English and they were a bit longer, but you understood the translation of the essence.